Heart talk ♥

 

I either hope to be a kid again, or to grow up fast. 

Cz I hate to be a fourteen-years-old-teen, its like not kiddie not mature -.-  

Well in this week, I actually thought about my dad, my family, my broken heart, and my life. My mind got stucked. It always do. And seems like it just don't go away.  

♥

But I won't talk to anyone. I would just look up to the sky, I would just write it in the blog, I would rather hide myself under the blanket and on my ipod, listen to the music and cry till I fall asleep. 

Yes that's what I'll do. There's no one I could trust on. I could trust on my mum, of course, but there's always some topic that you can never share it with your mum. 

My friends always ask me the same question "Are you lonely cz u're the only child? seems like u're not" 

"Yes I do" But will that make any difference? Once I asked my parents, "Why am I the only one? Why can't I have a sis or bro?" And they answered me something which totally shut my mouth up. "Fair enough. You're the only one so you can get everything." 

I was speechless. Yes that's benefit.  

How I wish I can have a sister, to share everything with me. Secret, Make up, BFs, love talk, laughs, drama, outing, fasion, music ,everything. 

How I wish I could have a brother, to protect me from bullying, to share laughs with me, to ask me what flower does a girl like cz she wanna gift to his gf, and many many more.... 

How I wish I could have a perfect boy, to love me more than I do, to make me smile forever, to be always there for me, to teach me many many things, to make my life beautiful, and many many more..... 

How I wish to have BFF, to share all the fashions and make ups, to chuckle together, to gossip and to chat about those bitches and bastards....etc....  

♥ ♥

I don't know.  

I felt lost these days. I just couldn't stand up. 

Smile covers everything. 

But my hurt just don't heal. 

Even if it does, I believe that there's still scar left.  

What can I do? 

♥ ♥ ♥